Finding Myself at 33

A few days ago a friend posted this personality quiz on his Facebook page. I thought it looked interesting so I participated in the 16 Personalities quiz. I was quite astonished when I got my results and how accurate the conclusions were.

See I am an INFJ. Which is a very interesting personality. Apparently, a rare one, less than 1% of the population. But see, I have felt so out of place and weird for most of my life, that I have become quite a chameleon. Adapting and changing who I am to fit in with whoever I am around. After reading the personality traits, it makes sense. I take on the emotions of those around me. I am a natural introvert, but can pretend to be an incredible extrovert. I FEEL EVERYTHING!!!! I am so empathic that at times it drives me crazy. And every single joke or insult that is thrown my way, takes a chunk out of my heart. I read people like books and can almost immediately tell when someone is genuine or has alternative motives. This has prevented me from having deep close relationships with nearly every person I have met.

But after reading my profile, I felt relieved. I felt embraced. I felt understood. Like it was the first time in my life I realized it was okay for me to be ME! Today was so different for me! It was amazing actually. My skin felt familiar. My thoughts felt normal. My emotions felt renewed and in control. I didn’t feel weird.

So, yesterday I suggested my husband take the personality quiz. I was more curious about his personality. Because I am not like him. In fact, we are mostly different on nearly everything. That’s not a bad or good thing. In our relationship, our differences have just been .. differences. And at times, extremely frustrating differences. Most would say that’s marriage. While I would normally agree with that sentiment, I have to say at times I have been super hurt and distressed by the things he does or doesn’t do. He took the quiz.

That was an eye opener for me!

His results of ENTJ were spot on. It told me why he is the way he is. This personality type is a leader. One who finds emotional reactions as weakness. And will always choose logistics over moral. None of this is bad, IF you understand it. I have viewed him and his quirks so differently over the past 24 hours. It has been so awesome!

I took our results one step further and did an INFJ-ENTJ compatibility. According to the website ENTJ Personality Info:

“In romantic relationships…

The ENTJ will usually end up leading and they will both like it at first but the ENTJ might soon get bored with getting no challenge back and the INFJ might start to quietly resent the fact that he/she isn’t involved or listened to in making decisions. This problem arises because the INFJs decision making function, extroverted feeling, is the last function on the ENTJs priority list. The ENTJ has to make a big effort to listen to this function and the INFJ must become more direct and speak up because sometimes ENTJs will not understand little unsaid cues that INFJs expect to be understood. This advice applies to any relationship; the more direct and truthful you can be with your partner the better relationship you will have.

Possible stumbling blocks:

– ENTJ being too critical and blunt
– INFJ being vague/unclear about what they want
– ENTJ not listening to extroverted feeling because it’s their blindspot
– INFJ being too sensitive to criticism, or holding back part of themselves
– ENTJ forgetting to show acts of thoughtfulness and appreciation every once in a while, because of being too caught up in their work (INFJs need to know they’re loved)
– INFJ having expectations that are too high or too idealistic

As you see there are many gaps and things to work on in this relationship but the hard work is worth it. Both individuals can become more balanced and complete persons if they decide to go for this ride.”

I agree 100% with this sentiment! In fact, my jaw dropped when I read these statements. It is an extremely accurate account of our relationship. I don’t show you this because it’s negative or positive. I am showing it because it opened my eyes to our personalities in our marriage and it makes total sense.

I am an extremely sensitive person. I just internalize nearly all of it. DH and I balance each other out. I am so glad I took that quiz!

To take the 16 personalities quiz click HERE

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